You wrote, "In reality, the Arab states shouldn't have invaded to try to destroy Israel"
Wait a minute, we need a reality check here. The dominant Zionist agenda going back to the father of ZIonism was an extremist racist agenda of ethnic cleansing and Jewish supremacy. Herzl, the Father of Zionism wrote, "Immigration is consequently futile unless based on an assured supremacy" as early as 1895 as he plotted the removal of non-Jews for Palestine. The Zionists are the ones that pushed to divide up the land but clearly as a step towards taking over all of Palestine. In reality the Jews did not accept Partition because they immediately violating the terms starting months before May 1948. In 1938 Ben-Gurion said to other Zionists, “after we become a strong force, as the result of the creation of a state, we shall abolish partition and expand to the whole of Palestine.” Sure enough, after the creation of the state in 1948, Menachem Begin made clear how serious the “Jews accepting the UN partition” was in reality, “The partition of the Homeland is illegal . It will never be recognized. he signature of institutions and individuals of the partition agreement is invalid. It will not bind the Jewish people. Jerusalem was and will forever be our capital. Eretz Israel (the land of Israel) will be restored to the people of Israel, All of it. And forever." he declared.
Keep in mind, the UN partition plan was a proposal and was not binding, it is off the wall to insist that the Palestinians "should have accepted" it. It violated the will of 67% of the people in Palestine, why the heck "should" they accept it? What happened to the principle of democracy and self determination?
Critical facts are often omitted when the history is presented and this leads to a very distorted view of what happened in 1948. The misleading story often told is that "Jews declared Israel and then they were attacked." The fact is from November 1947 to May 1948 the Zionists were already on the offensive and had already attacked Arabs. In the months before Israel was declared, the Zionists had driven 300,000 non-Jews off their land. In the months before Israel was declared, the Zionists had seized land beyond the UN proposed Jewish State. What happened between Nov 1947 and May 1948 was already an attack on the part of the Jews. Jews who were 33% of a population had no right to "declare" that they were dividing up the land! And Arab armies moved in to areas that had been proposed for the Palestinian State because it was clear the Jews were grabbing it all. And keep in mind that the Zionists were not sincere about allowing the UN proposed Palestinian State to emerge, the Zionists conspired with Jordan to prevent it and that is what Jordan and Israel did.
The "right to exist" think is a propaganda ploy. What it masks is the reality of what Zionists consider "existing" which means to them a system of discrimination against non-Jews and Jewish supremacy. That is like asking blacks in the early 1800's to accept the US's "right to exist" and insisting that without slavery America didn't "exist" so you are in effect asking blacks to accept the "right" of slavery to exist.
It is not unreasonable to insist that Jews in Israel live as we expect Jews to live in America, which means without a system of discrimination against non-Jews.